Goodbye 15, Hello BitterSweet Sixteen

I am turning 16 tomorrow. Mark your calendar,its April 3. =]

Strangely, I don’t feel like I’m a year older.

Or rather, I don’t feel like I’m about to turn a year older. Deep down, I feel like I’m still that same old 15 year old with skinned knees and ratty mary janes.

The person that I was before is still the person that I am today—I mean, yeah, I grew to catch up with the pace of the modern times but seriously.

I guess time flies so fast and I can hear the reverberating ticking sound. It’s very unnerving. I’m the type of individual who loathes being called on her mobile—I don’t like being rushed, I want to do things at my own pace.

I just feel like, I’m sixteen—why does it seem like I haven’t lived my life yet? People think it’s because I’m cloistered, I happen to think it’s because I’m the most boring person alive.

I’ve got a flair for writing blogs though.

I’ve recently noticed that I haven’t written a decent/existing blog within the past few months—no wait, who am I kidding? I haven’t actually written anything at all. I don’t think it’s because I’m busy to be honest—I mean, okay, i feel like I’m slightly stressed with school, I feel like I’ve been slacking off and losing my touch. I’m no longer as competitive as I would have wanted myself to be.

Also, Reedley IS. What can I say, thank you.

Also, yes, I just found out I won’t be eligible for first honours—boo. It’s a long story but I think I’ve told everyone I know about it and trust me, it’s a story that’s not worth repeating.

Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t the obligatory emo post. Just going through the Grade 11 syndrome—no drama, really, I’m just very, very tired. And I wished I entered any school with a regular curriculum.

Maybe I am with my white dress and toga walking down the isle to get my diploma. UGH.

There are a few things I felt like I would have wanted to do. Nothing life-altering and nothing that I do regret, just that—you know, you feel like you’re sixteen and you’re getting old, and the next time, you suddenly realize you’re thirty and stumped by paper work.

I just think I need to live a little.

Also, please don’t give me the: Let’s go bungee jumping suggestion because I’m actually very into extreme sports but I don’t consider that as living. Yeah, maybe literally, try jumping off a 100-feet cliff and let’s see if your heart rate hasn’t stopped briefly on your way down. (Note: Not an emo Bella fan)

What I mean to say is that, somewhere in between, I wish for multiple lives just so I could be a surgeon, a chemical engineer, a roboticist, and all other things I would have wanted to be instead of being the designer/protagonist that I am today.

No regrets though, I like where I am, but you know. I can’t regret for something I’ve never had but for only things I’ve lost and the things I’ve lost aren’t really regrettable—it’s either I take a good care of them or that I’m too occupied or too bitchy to care.

Anyway, here’s to becoming a year older.

The only thing I’m looking forward to is turning 19 so I can join the Amazing Race-yes, lame, I know.

Anyhow, my friends asked me to post a wish list. For the life of me, I don’t know why I actually don’t want anything this year. This is very strange for me, I’ve always wanted a bunch of things but right now, I’m stumped.

It seems to me that I already have everything that I wanted.

So here’s to trying!

Twenty Things I wish I could have for my Twentieth Birthday: Regressive Order
20. iPhone (Well, I’m getting a new PDA phone since my mother thinks I should never, ever be given an expensive phone since I usually end up breaking it.)

19. Green Goyard St. Louis PM

18. Contemporary Classics or Philosophical Books (I love Kundera, Camus, Hagardorn, Murakami, Borges, Marquez.)-or books that function within the context of a hinge moment?

17. Torch all Twilight books

16. Tory Burch flats—no, not last season’s.

15. A good acupuncture session.

14. Swedish massage and a hot Swedish masseuse.

13. Boob Job aka fake tits

12. Zara GCs

11. Nintendo DS in white (Although Red told me he’s getting one for me. Envy me Iso, envy me, I can now play cooking mama.)

10. Audrey Hepburn Films—no wait, I have them all. Just black and white classic flicks.

09. Design books—fashion design, graphic design, and packaging design.

08. DC Comic books.

07. More dresses—preferrably in blue.

06. Investors for the Anagon Collection

05. A roundtrip ticket to Africa, really.

04. Skull-candy headphones in pink

03. Intuous Tablet

02. Cutesy stuff—kind of like threadless shirts or plueys.

01. Today’s lottery money.

00. Sonia’s cupcakes—I’m cheap, sue me.

Anyhow, catch everyone later.